spring’s autumn

Memory bridges our past with the present

and brings us to an awareness that life is a cyclic process

that demonstrates the dynamic forces

of togetherness and separation; therefore,

this moment is a reflection

within fragments of a past and of a self revisited while in this process.

What do you understand?

One sound,

the voice of autumn ~ Ichishi*

*source:

Japanese Death Poems

Yoel Hoffman

sleeves of clouds

the moon leaks out

from sleeves of clouds

and scatters shadows ~Tanko*

*source:

Japanese Death Poems

 Yoel Hoffman

a reflection within a water drop

in this world

i have found

no perfect drop of dew-

not even on the lotus ~Issa*

 

As I sort through the various threads of thought, imaginings, memories and beliefs I have woven into a tapestry that illustrates my companionship with a silent sense of saudade, I come to see a life colored by attempts to evade or expunge an underlying current of dissatisfaction. This discontent is generally felt as a yearning for something undefined, or a vague sense that things are not quite right.  It comes in the wake of the realization that dreams are unreachable, and expectations only create more turmoil. Sometimes it erupts as sorrow, grief, anguish, or despair.  As a result, I question where is the wellspring of this homesickness for a place, a person, a time that that I continue to search for despite a knowing that it simply cannot be?

Buddhist psychology seeks to uncover the truth of human suffering and to find a path that leads to the cessation of suffering.  The first two truths speak of suffering and its nature, while the third and fourth truths outline a life path that will bring about the cessation of suffering.

The First Noble Truth nudges me out of my own immersion within the misery of suffering through its validation that suffering is a universal occurrence despite one’s race, culture, or affiliations.  Even those who say, “all’s right with the world,” are impacted by the constant state of flux within their life and thus experience anxiety.

To be born is to struggle with physical changes that occur in conjunction with developmental milestones, to feel the pain that accompanies physical and medical frailties, and to wrestle with the process of dying and with death itself.  To be human is to be dissatisfied with the wanting and obtaining of that which is pleasant, to know the fading of initial pleasure, as well as to experience the discomfort of unpleasant sounds, sights, scents, tastes, physical sensations, and thoughts.  To be open to life is to experience the range of human feelings, be it fear, anger, sadness, and joy.  To be with others is to know the distress of – real or imagined and spoken or unspoken – inclusion and exclusion.

The first truth also extends these truths of suffering to the unsatisfactory nature and general insecurity inherent in the law of impermanency.  That is, all the phenomena of existence whatsoever, even the awe-inspiring and the horrifying, are subject to change and dissolution. Those who know the pleasures found within substances also are acquainted with the unease that accompanies excess. We all intimately know the truth of this impermanency in our longings to feel emotionally close to others, which soon changes into a yearning for separation. Consequently, without exception discontent does arise.

Suffering is clinging to the illusion of an unchanging self; that is, to a belief there is a permanent self within the ongoing process of physical and mental occurrences which constantly arise, disintegrate, and dissolve. Hume wrote that self is a “bundle or collection of different perceptions, which succeed each other with inconceivable rapidity, and in a perpetual flux and movement.”  He further suggested that we create an idea of self as we processes our perception of events and things.  Thus, there is not a tangible sense of self that remains consistent from one moment to the next. To desire, crave, or cling to a solid consistent self where there is only a changing psycho-physical complex is to create conditions that generate sorrow, grief, and dejection.^[1]

The feeling of an “I” emerges from a reflection of the stream of experiential consciousness that awakens when one becomes aware of being observed by an internalized watcher or seer who is felt but never known.   Therefore, there is no denying that there is a wavering consciousness, an “I”, that knits together streams of memories, thoughts, feelings, and interactions in such a manner that we are able to formulate an awareness of identity, continuity, striving, as well as an sense of ourselves and others.

Memory bridges our past with the present

and brings us to an awareness that life is a cyclic process

that demonstrates the dynamic forces of togetherness and separation;

therefore, this moment is but a reflection within fragments of a past

and of a self revisited while in this process.

sources:

* The Year of my Life

trans: Nobuyuki Yuasa

[1] B. Russell, A History of Western Philosophy (New York, 1945).

photo challenge: up

sounding in the trees

rising toward the sky-

a bubbling spring

                              ~Sogi (1421-15020)*

A WordPress new post specifically created for this week’s photo challenge, a picture which means UP!

source:

Haiku Before Haiku

Trans:  Steven D Carter

spring’s awakening

hazy or not, 

come out of the clouds,

spring moon!

                                                                                             ~Reizei Tamesuke (1263-1328)

weekly photo challenge: change

In a new WordPress post created for this week’s challenge, share a picture that says CHANGE

the scarlet leaves of autumn

pale before the sight

of waving green rice fields ~ Kikusha-Ni

 

frost on grass

a fleeting form

that is, and is not ~Zaishiki

fallen blossoms

within each person is a flower

within each flower

there is a seed,

a word

Ah, the deep woods -

so quiet one can hear

blossoms fall. ~Shinkei

mental hindrances V

I once saw a dancer on stage sit in the meditative posture …

In a few seconds, thoughts of passion began to arise.  The dancer moved through the process, becoming more and more frenzied as just a tiny glimpse of passion began to escalate until it was a full-blown sexual fantasy.  Then a small bell rang, and a calm voice said “thinking,” and the dancer relaxed back into the meditation posture.  About five seconds later, the dance of rage began, again starting as a small irritation and then exploding more and more wildly.  Then came the dance of loneliness, then the dance of drowsiness, and each time the bell would ring, and the voice would say “thinking,” and the dancer would simply relax for a little longer and a little longer into what began to feel like the immense peace and spaciousness of simply sitting there.*

Over time, with consistent meditation practice,  one will begin to notice that the mind lessens its tendency to wander and remains more attentive to the object of concentration.  At the same time, there is an increased awareness of the body-mind relationship and an understanding of the multiple activities we undertake throughout the day to ease various discontents; that is, hunger, boredom, physical aches and pains, loneliness, inadequacy, worries, conflicts.   This opens the door to knowledge that the dynamics within our mind-body structure are not governed by our desires.  This is the beginning of insight into suffering.

What may interfere with one’s mindfulness practice is the hindrance identified as sloth and torpor.  This is a heaviness of mind equal to dullness, apathy, lethargy, or rigidity.  When one is overcome with lethargy it is like trying to see the life below the surface of a pond that is covered with moss and water plants.

To become mindful of lethargy one must first accept its arising without sinking into its heaviness with, “fatigue is rising within me.”  As it is abandoned, “fatigue within me is abandoned.” While it is fading, “fatigue is ceasing within me.”  When it is gone, “there is no fatigue present within me.”

To dispel dullness and drowsiness it is suggested that one visualize a brilliant ball of light, undertake brisk walking meditation, reflect on death, or meditate with a firm determination to break through this mental fatigue.

*reference:

Pema Chodron

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

mental hindrances

In stillness there is fullness,

in fullness there is nothingness,

in nothingness there are all things.~ Anonymous

What may interfere with one’s meditation practice is the awakening of one of the five mental hindrances: 1) restlessness and worry, 2) craving for desirable experiences, 3) ill-will, 4) lack of trust/a divided heart, and 5) half-hearted action/apathy. These hindrances block our ability to move away from our investment in the self and to truly acknowledge the interdependence and interconnectedness of all living beings. They are intertwined into the suffering within, “the good I would do, I do not.  The evil I would not do, I do.”

Restlessness and worry overpower our minds in the same matter the wind stirs and agitates a pond, producing waves and ripples on the surface. Boredom and craving create mental states similar to a pot of water that has been colored with red, yellow, blue, and orange dye. That is, when we are overpowered by desires and cravings, we are not able to foresee consequences and become limited in our ability to recall learned moral lessons.  Ill-will is like a pot of water heated on the fire. The seething and boiling keeps us prisoner to aversion and hatred. Indecisiveness and a divided heart impacts our ability to reflect upon our feelings and creates a mind that is like a pot of water that is turbid, stirred up and muddy. Foggy-mindedness and apathy overcomes and takes us hostage as if we were being smothered by algae and water plants.[1]

Restlessness is known as the agitation that propels us from one thought to another as thoughts swing from greed to aversion and from attachment to discontent.  Worry comes from the remorse we have about past mistakes and the subsequent anxiety that follows imaged consequences.  When agitation and remorse appears it is like trying to see one’s reflection in a pond being swept by the wind.

To contain restlessness and worry one must first acknowledge its presence without being drawn into its current by noting, “restlessness and worry is rising within me.”  As they are abandoned, “restlessness and worry within me is abandoned.” While they fade, “restlessness and worry is ceasing within me.”  When they are gone, “there is no restlessness and worry present within me.”

Restlessness and worry are most effectively countered by turning the mind to a simple object that tends to calm it down; the method usually recommended is mindfulness of breathing, attention to the in-and-out flow of the breath.

---

[1] Weragoda Sarada Ven Theor, Treasury of Truth, Buddha Dharma Education Association, 774-78; Nyanaponika Thera, The Five Mental Hindrances and Their Conquest (1993).

everything is pretending

One day as I was about to step on a dry leaf, I saw the leaf in the ultimate dimension.

I saw that it was not really dead, but that it was merging with the moist soil in order to appear on the tree the following spring in another form.

I smiled at the leaf and said, “You are pretending.”  Everything is pretending to be born and pretending to die, including the leaf.

The Buddha said, “When conditions are sufficient, the body reveals itself, and we say the body exists.  When conditions are not sufficient, the body cannot be perceived by us, and we say the body does not exist.”  The day of our “death” is a day of our continuation in many forms.

If you know how to touch your ancestors in the ultimate dimension, they will always be there with you.  If you touch your own hand, face, or hair and look very deeply, you can see that they are there in you smiling.  This is a deep practice.

The ultimate dimension is a state of coolness, peace, and joy.  It is not a state to be attained after you “die.”  You can touch the ultimate dimension right now by breathing, walking, and drinking your tea in mindfulness…

A farmer looking at his landing winter can already see his crop, because he knows that all of the conditions are there – land, seeds, water, fertilizer, farm equipment, and so on – except one, warm weather, and that will come in a matter of months.  So it would be inaccurate to say his crop does not exist.  It is already there.  It needs only one more condition to manifest.    We are entirely capable of touching the ultimate dimension.  When we touch one thing with deep awareness, we touch everything.  Touching the present moment, we realize that the present is made of the past and is creating the future.

~Thich Nhat Hana, Living Buddha, Living Christ