Monthly Archives: May 2013

weekly photo challenge: the sign says

Signs. Funny, poignant, symbolic, incorrect, informative, foreshadowing…there are so many signs in the world.

Share a picture of a SIGN and explain why you chose that picture!

While driving through the southern part of the United States, we came upon this sign painted on the side of an old wooden building…

gotta smile at the prideful display, “America’s Biggest Nickels Worth” while pondering about the culture of America when Pepsi-Cola was ONLY $.05.

signs (1)

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wordless wednesday

autumn in spring (2)

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May 30, 2013 · 5:30 pm

Entangled beliefs

entangled thoughts

My intention to ease my own suffering through a journey of spiritual readings has brought me to a place and time in which to unweave and sort through the pseudo-beliefs I have simply, without question, absorbed through the lens of childhood fantasy and comprehension.  To begin this process is to invite myself to explore The Buddha’s recommendation to reformulate my beliefs through a process of mindfulness and analysis and then to know for myself, “These things are bad, blamable, censured by the wise; undertaken and observed, these things lead to harm and ill… These things are good, blameless, praised by the wise… These things lead to benefit and happiness.”

It is not an easy undertaking to not simply believe what has been learned within family, school and church as well as conclusions reached through readings of idealized others. The invitation to not simply follow tradition brings to the surface conflicts with compliance and opposition that come from an avalanche of values and guiding principles that outlines how I understand the roles and expectations of women.

To not adhere to that which was surmised within family stories about an ancestor, who upon seeing a swarm of locust “knelt in his patch of grain and pleaded with his Maker to spare his wheat” and then saw them divide and not damage his remaining crops. Or within the story about the ancestor, who during a trip from New York to England, calmed the seas with a prayer, and while in England, after much fasting and prayer administered to a deaf and dumb boy who was subsequently healed.[1] To not simply believe opens a door of pondering about generations of family members who intimately knew powerlessness and insecurity, who eased their feelings of incompetence through prayer, and whose conceptions blinded them to their neighbors’ plight.

To not simply believe that I must endure suffering is to reject the axiom that there is an absence of fundamental faith and goodness. To not adhere to the assumed abilities of ancestors frees me from the belief that a sincere act of making amends for my sins will open the doors to Shangri-La.  To not simply draw upon scripture unbinds me to the shame that I don’t have the faith – even of the size of a mustard seed – to be deeded as “good and without sin” so what I wish for, even that which goes counter to nature’s laws, will be granted.  To ease the suffering within discontent is to not simply hold to be true that I am to acquiesce to pain until the final judgment of death, and only then will I be forever at peace, or forever condemned to an existence of even greater suffering.

To not simply believe opens my ears to the incongruence within a belief in an all-knowing presence who, if not validated, punishes, absent of the grace within loving-kindness.  To not simply believe brings a compassionate acknowledgment to the painful efforts to sway God into granting me my desires through bargaining, sacrifice, negation, and suffering, and to finally surrender with acceptance to “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”  To not simply believe sheds light upon the greed, aversion, and delusions that are intertwined into my conception of and relationship with life.

I do hold that my beliefs and the subsequent desire for their illusive promises of validation, forgiveness, or reunification have set me upon an unending path of suffering.  These beliefs lead to harm and ill as they are like thorns that tear into my heart.  This searing pain releases resentment intertwined with envy, awakens alienation, and denies me the essence of Christ’s wisdom and loving compassion.

Christ stood before self-righteous anger and commanded that only the one without sin was to cast the first stone of punishment and, at another time and in the midst of his own suffering, sought forgiveness for those who “know not what they do.”   Within these written words, I hear compassion speaking for the suffering intertwined within anger ungoverned by moral shame and moral dread.  Compassion is telling us how suffering, entangled into knots of mental, emotional, and social turmoil, deafens us to our guiding principles and blinds us to the horrors our moral shame will witness as it awakens from darkened ignorance.


[1] Clara Fullmer Bullock, More than Tongue Can Tell (1960).

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spring’s autumn

Memory bridges our past with the present

and brings us to an awareness that life is a cyclic process

that demonstrates the dynamic forces

of togetherness and separation; therefore,

this moment is a reflection

within fragments of a past and of a self revisited while in this process.

autumninspring

What do you understand?

One sound,

the voice of autumn ~ Ichishi*

*source:

Japanese Death Poems

Yoel Hoffman

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sleeves of clouds

the moon leaks out

from sleeves of clouds

and scatters shadows ~Tanko*

clouds

*source:

Japanese Death Poems

 Yoel Hoffman

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